Day 7

One week ago today, something inside snapped. I’ve tried to articulate what’s going on in my head and in my heart, and the best I can come up with is “I’m thinking too hard,” or more accurately, “I don’t know.” I don’t have names for the feelings or the emotions, or even the thought processes. [...]

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I can only struggle for so long…

I have no idea what’s wrong with my mind. The past few days, maybe even a week, my moods have been swinging up and down and up and way down, from hour to hour. I can go from laughing with my roommates on my way to class, and come back two hours later with a [...]

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Monday, 10/5/09, 12:47 am

I should be sleeping… But I’m not. Instead, I’m thinking too hard again, and wondering how I’m going to get through the next few days in one piece. I gave Ryan my razor blades, and I shouldn’t regret that for an instant. But experience tells me that, on a night like this, bleeding would calm [...]

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Bahhh.

Yeesh.
It’s not even 10, and I’m exhausted, but I have no idea why. The four hour car ride to Michigan wasn’t that bad, and it’s been great to see my extended family. And there’s a lot on my mind, like usual, but I’m doing what I can to focus on the positive side of things, [...]

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Thoughts and thankfulness

Today was another good day, no doubt. More sleeping in, lunch out with Dad, and a reunion with the Lifehouse Skit Team (we performed last May, and haven’t all been able to get together since school started, with two of us away at college).
That’s hard to beat.
I’m not really sure where any of this came [...]

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… thoughts before bedtime.

… I’m not quite sure what’s wrong. Something just feels… off.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to be home and PUMPED to see church friends and extended family, but after the whirlwind of emotions and meds that has been this past month, I’m walking a thin line of sanity. Yes, the Effexor and the Zoloft [...]

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