Day 7

One week ago today, something inside snapped. I’ve tried to articulate what’s going on in my head and in my heart, and the best I can come up with is “I’m thinking too hard,” or more accurately, “I don’t know.” I don’t have names for the feelings or the emotions, or even the thought processes. [...]

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My mask is crumbling…

Get up at 6 am, drive Jess to work.
Gotta smile, even though I’m dead tired.

Grab breakfast, drive home and eat. Play several games of Tetris to distract yourself, wonder what today will hold. Pack up books, leave for class. Try to listen to happy music on the way there, shiver in the cold Iowa autumn. [...]

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I haven’t got a catchy title, I just need to type…

So, I’m almost done with my first week of my second year of college. Things have, with tiny exceptions, been going extremely well. I haven’t gotten lost or missed any classes, I have most of what I need to get through the semester, including a job where I don’t feel totally out of place, even [...]

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Saturday night musings…

Again, I have no idea where I’m going with this, so I might as well just start rambling. It’s been a pretty good weekend: almost exclusively lovely, in fact. I spent a bit more than I day driving to Iowa with my (non-biological) big Brother Ryan, helping him move stuff into storage in his new [...]

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Thursday’s Encouragement

I must say, these past few weeks have been long, stressful ones for me, and they’re starting to take a visible toll. I’m exhausted, I don’t feel like getting up in the mornings, I yawn all day, but still toss and turn when I do try and sleep. On the off chance that I do [...]

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Suddenly, I feel very small…

I don’t even know what’s the matter with my head. Today started off really really early, but this morning was good, and even with not nearly enough sleep, I managed to stay awake in both of my classes, and my appointment with counselor lady. I even took the initiative to go to a familiar quiet [...]

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Here we go again…

Today doesn’t feel like a Tuesday. It’s throwing me off.
I got back from the retreat yesterday afternoon, after a day of adventuring through thigh-deep snow to frozen rivers, laughing, human knots and pyramids, conversations around candles and a burning fireplace, late night movies and Bible studies. On the whole, it was an experience I would [...]

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Let’s try something different?

I am so grateful for Sundays… Holy wow. It’s such a release to be able to go to church and be encouraged, given the chance to encourage others, and laugh with friends. My family at my church has been instrumental in keeping me mostly sane, especially when my struggle with self injury first began. Today, [...]

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I’m starting to miss my dorm…

I think I need to get out of here. I never realized how loud my house could get, especially with two siblings who are throwing temper tantrums or at each other’s throats over tv/computer time, nearly constantly. I really kinda want to be back at my dorm, where things were quiet when I needed them [...]

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