I’m slipping…

Thanks to a dumb English paper, I got three and a half hours of sleep last night, and I’ve been running around most of today, and yesterday. I’ve had two tests already this week, with another one on Friday, and then a whole weekend on a retreat with Cru, as part of the planning team. [...]

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Am I doing better?

I think so.
Last weekend was really difficult, and I cried myself to sleep three nights in a row. I’ve been clean for nine days now, after a very emotional Thursday night, a week and a half ago. During that bad weekend, Ryan convinced me to vent to him, and I ended up leaking that I’d [...]

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[taking a break from watching friends play Smash Brothers]

I feel like I should be a lot happier right now… I did alright out in the social world after a really bad nightmare, work is going well, we’ve been having people over to the apartment every few days, my classes are going alright… But since my last post, my thoughts have turned a shade [...]

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One week left?!

Goodbye, summer! I have less than a week before I head back to Ames for my sophomore year at Iowa State University. As excited as I am, I’m not sure if I’m completely ready yet. I’m more than ready to move into Presbyteria and leave my angry, angsty-teenager-full house, and I’m more than ready to [...]

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[ Untitled ]

So, I don’t really know where I’m going with this. I haven’t blogged in far too long, probably because I can’t seem to get my thoughts in order for long enough to write something of interest. Also, a good chunk of these summer weeks have been wonderful — my depression and BPD were stable, I [...]

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Apologies and promises

I’m so sorry for not updating more regularly… Things have been insane the past few weeks: ending my second semester at ISU, finals, packing everything up, getting home, unpacking, catching up with everyone, writing, trying to sleep, meeting with a psychiatrist, medication changes, scheduling visits to family and from college friends, gearing up for New [...]

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Thursday’s Encouragement

I must say, these past few weeks have been long, stressful ones for me, and they’re starting to take a visible toll. I’m exhausted, I don’t feel like getting up in the mornings, I yawn all day, but still toss and turn when I do try and sleep. On the off chance that I do [...]

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Here we go again…

Today doesn’t feel like a Tuesday. It’s throwing me off.
I got back from the retreat yesterday afternoon, after a day of adventuring through thigh-deep snow to frozen rivers, laughing, human knots and pyramids, conversations around candles and a burning fireplace, late night movies and Bible studies. On the whole, it was an experience I would [...]

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Gearing up for a rough Monday…

I’m not even sure why I’m writing this, except that I need to kill time to attempt to tire myself out, in the hope that I’ll be able to fall asleep quickly tonight. My insomnia hasn’t gone away, and I’m still sleeping in chunks of three hours or less. I spend far too much time [...]

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Insomnia and I aren’t getting along…

For about a week now, I’ve been having sleeping issues. I haven’t been able to fall asleep in under something like an hour, and if I wake up in the middle of the night  (which I have been known to do quite frequently — I’m a rather light sleeper), it’s for at least half an [...]

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